a retard, a cripple and 2 midget children

i know, i know
they're supposed to be
called "mentally challenged,"
"differently abled" and
"little people" but
after riding on
a crowded bus for over an hour
with a retard, a cripple
and 2 midget children
i'm not in the
mood for
political correctness.

i sat squashed against the window, next to
the retard, who was intent
on starting a conversation with me.
he must've been proud
to have recently learned how
to converse with "normal"
people.

"what'th your name?" the
retard asked me
with a heavy lisp.

i ignored him, but the subtle
intricacies of human
communication were apparently
beyond his mental capacity.

"what'th your name?" he
yelled. the lisp only got
worse when he raised
his voice. i swear he even lisped
the word name.

"Jeremiah," i said, which
was a big mistake because my
just saying my name opened some
kind of retard floodgates
and this guy, whose name was
apparently Chrith (which i interpreted
as Chris), proceeded to tell me about
his day and his family and his favorite
animal and his favorite kind of
car and his favorite eyeth
cream flavor.

the cripple sat in a huge, oversized
wheelchair at the front of
the bus. he talked to a guy
the entire time, acting as
if he wasn't in a wheelchair; as
if he wasn't blocking the entire
aisle with his giant
"cripple apparatus."

"it's a glorious day, isn't it?" i
heard the cripple say to the
guy. "it's such a grand,
magnificent day."

i felt good for the cripple,
because i have the use of both of my legs
and my days are nothing
but pure shit. it's great that he
can rise above his disability
and find the gloriousnesses
and grandnesses in his life.

two midget children
ran constantly, up and down the back of the
bus, through and around the legs of the
"normal" passengers who
were standing. they seriously
creeped my shit out, even more so than full-
grown, adult midgets.
their legs were severely bow-legged,
their fingers stubby,
their heads bulbous and
huge. they spoke
with helium voices and
disappeared beneath the legs of
the standing passengers.

the retard kept talking.
"i like penguinth," he said.
"they are funny."

i pulled the buzzer for my
stop as the retard continued,
"i'm gonna have thpaghetti for
dinner tonight, what are you
gonna have?"

"i'm going to have to start
skipping dinner so i
can save up for a car and
stop riding this goddamn
bus," i said
as the bus stopped and i
rose to get off.

the midget children ran around my
legs and i stubbed my
toe on the massive
wheelchair of the cripple.

"magnificently superb," i heard
the cripple say as i stepped
off the bus.

-published in James River Poetry Review